Quips and Quotes

"Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get."
~ Robert Orben

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
~ Sam Levinson

"I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet."
~ Erma Bombeck