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Once a year a special day rolls around, a truly American holiday where we actually pause, give thanks, and count our blessings - individually, and as a nation. If your family is like mine, once everyone is seated around the Thanksgiving table, a quick prayer of thanks may be offered, but when done, we dive in like vultures to taste, savor and overindulge. Forget gratitude, let’s eat!
To make sure my family was aware of the many blessings in our life, I wanted to find a way to extend and deepen this all too-brief moment of gratitude. If you care to deepen your Thanksgiving experience as well, allow me to share a Gratitude Ceremony I devised to mark this special day, to make it one we would not soon forget.
THE GRATITUDE BOWL
Choose a large wooden bowl and fill it with clean sand. Place it in the middle of your holiday table.
Place votive candles - one for each person at the table - into the bowl.
One-by-one, have each one light his or her candle and say aloud something they are grateful for.
That's it. Simple, but powerful.
Here is what transpired at our family table the first time we performed our "Gratitude Ceremony."
Once all were seated and grace said, I informed my family what we were about to do. Upon hearing they would have to express something aloud they were grateful for, the usual reactions set in. My two daughters loved it and excitedly began to chatter about what they would say. My son did the expected - a deep sigh of exasperation accompanied by a dramatic roll of the eyes. I could hear his mental wheels turning: "Oh, no! Another one of mom's weird things." Other relatives looked ill at ease.
My daughters went first, thinking it great fun. Each one lit her candle and offered a sweet token of verbal gratitude - one for the presence of our loyal, loving dog; the other for friends and family.
Now it was my son's turn. He remained eerily silent. "I can't think of anything I'm grateful for," he said, and continued to stare into the bowl with the hope that an appropriate gratitude would emerge from beneath the sand. No such luck. I reassured him that it was alright, that perhaps something would come to him and he could share it later.
Mine went something like this: “I am so grateful to have each of you to love.” Other relatives chimed in with thoughts of health, employment, and so on.
As we ate our meal, the candles burned brightly. I occasionally glanced at my son as he continued to gaze into the flickering flames. I knew he was still pondering what he could possibly be grateful for.
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Our dinner came to an end and it was time to begin the monumental task of clearing and washing the dishes. My son halted our movements in mid-stream by his proclamation - "I've got one! I've got a gratitude." He was grateful for the dinner and for all of us being together. His final comment took us by surprise. "I really liked this Mom, this candle thing, I mean. Can we do it again next year?"
A chorus of concurring voices chimed in.
Someone then asked if we could repeat the whole scenario at Christmas. Of course, I said, yes. A deep sense of love and appreciation washed over me. And, I must admit, I felt like doing a little happy dance, complete with victory whoops. I was able to get them to do one of those "weird" things where we make a special memory and move to a deeper place in our relationships. Chalk one up for the Gratitude Bowl!
This holiday season, I invite you to explore unique ways in which you and yours can proclaim your gratitude and blessings to one another. The Gratitude Bowl does work wonders, but it is just a prop. Each one of us can learn to seek out and express the blessings that surround us. A “gratitude attitude” can be ours, moment by moment, not just at holiday times, but every single day of the year.
Janice Lynne Lundy is an inspirational speaker, interfaith spiritual director, syndicated magazine columnist, and the author of four self-help/spiritual growth books. Her newest is Your Truest Self: Embracing the Woman You Are Meant to Be (Sorin Books). Learn more about Jan at her website: www.awakenedliving.com. Join a growing community of awakened women at her blog:
www.awakeisgood.blogspot.com |
