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Have you contacted your inner wise woman lately? You know who she is, don’t you? Her slight whisper is the one you hear when there is a choice to be made. Her subtle urging says, “Go this way." Her wrenching grip on your stomach stops you dead in your tracks, just when something or someone is headed for peril. Even though you may not access her on a regular basis, she is ever-present. Your wise woman is the voice of inner knowing that resides deep within you.
There have been times in my life when my wise woman and I were deeply acquainted. I listened well to her when it came to things like managing my obligations. Through her sage counsel, I heeded her advice and said, “No, thank you,” when requested to head up yet one more committee or school project. I also listened to her quite well when it came to matters of the heart, instinctively knowing when one of my children was moving toward a disastrous life choice.
And then there were other times when I did not heed my wise woman’s call at all, and her urgings fell upon deaf ears. Times when I pushed myself too hard and exhaustion set in. Times when I didn’t honor my body’s needs and did not give it exercise or good nutrition because I was too busy to hear her soft voice.
Today, as I enter into what many call the “wise woman years” (age fifty, and beyond), her voice seems a bit more recognizable. She is much harder to ignore. It seems that in mid-life, due to life experience (and bearing witness to the lives of others), we unknowingly combine our worldly learnings with our inner knowing. This brings our wise woman closer to the surface and she is better able to companion us through day-to-day life. She can become the best friend who walks with us, who offers advice when we most need it - even when we think we don’t.
How do we cultivate this relationship with our inner wise woman? First and foremost, we must accept her as a very important part of who we are. Her presence is profound, not to be dismissed by ourselves (or others) as silly or frivolous. She is wise counsel, a gift from our spirit to help us along the way. She has our best interests at heart and desires only for us to live as our truest selves, to be happy and whole.
Because she urges us to live in balance, it may mean that, for the first time in our lives, we begin to take good care of ourselves. Any woman who faces the daily challenge of self-care in the midst of a busy life knows that passion for self is key; we must prioritize and find the time and space to care for ourselves - through exercise, relaxation, and self-nurturing. Despite their love for us and ours for them, sometimes our families, and their ever-present needs, deter us from doing so. The result is finding ourselves on the back burner of our own lives, headed for depletion.
Wise woman may speak to us through pain or illness, through stress or depression to say, “Stop! Take good care of you. It’s time.” In listening to her beckon call and honoring what she tells us, we embark on the road to wellness, grateful for her companionship. Sometimes we just have to slow down enough to listen …
A second way to get in touch with our inner wise woman is to cultivate her presence through journaling. By putting pen to paper, simply writing to ourselves, our wise woman can
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emerge to reveal all kinds of wonderful things. In my own life, when I unearthed the courage to write out my thoughts, she emerged from the ink to tell me what I was angry about, what I was holding onto, what needed to be let go. In short, ways that I was stuck in many areas of my life - relationships, career, and parenting. Through honest self-reflection, wise woman was there to help me, bringing healing and wholeness. Today, writing remains a therapeutic process for me. It seems that whenever I begin the task of writing, I can see wise woman languishing on the top of my computer, a knowing grin on her face, eager to journey with me one more time.
Dreams can also be a forum where wise woman speaks. By paying attention to our dreams, we can begin to address areas within us that are ripe for healing. Keeping a dream journal is helpful here. Simply take a notebook and record your dreams upon waking. Doing this over an extended period of time can reveal themes and patterns. This is particularly helpful in times of duress and life transition. Wise woman can show us where we are struggling, what we are worried about, or patterns of behavior that are not helpful to us. One book which I have found to be very beneficial in working with dreams (and inner wisdom in general) is The Intuitive Healer: Accessing Your Inner Physician by Marcia Emery, Ph.D. Within its pages are dozens of exercises to explore our dreams, as well as guided meditations that can assist us in tapping into our inner wisdom - the wisdom that can move us toward health and well-being.
My hope is that you will not wait until the dawning of your wise woman years to develop a meaningful relationship with this source of inner wisdom. Wise woman is here for you now and can serve as a trusted helpmate for your life journey. May you have faith in her wisdom, your wisdom, and discover the wellspring of insight and healing which awaits you there.
Janice Lynne Lundy is an inspirational speaker, retreat leader, spiritual director, and the author of Your Truest Self: Embracing the Woman You Are Meant to Be (Sorin Books). To learn more about Jan, her books, or public appearances, visit her website, www.awakenedliving.com or her blog, www.awakeisgood.blogspot.com
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