Sisters of Circumstance

Perrin Slowey

“Alyssa is coming over to play,” I say as I hang up the phone.   “Yeah, hip-hip hooray, whoopee!” yells Ava, my almost 6-year old daughter, as she squeals in delight.  You might think that seeing her friend Alyssa is a very special, annual event by the sheer excitement in Ava’s voice.  No, in fact Ava usually sees Alyssa several times a week.

Alyssa comes to the house and the two little girls disappear behind Ava’s bedroom door for hours at a time.  They might surface asking for a snack, or they might not, getting lost in whatever games or imaginary play that encompasses their full and undivided attention that afternoon.  Rarely do I have to referee a squabble, more common when Ava plays with other children.  They are even relatively laid back,  (well, as laid back as 6-year-olds can be) when Ava’s little sister, Olivia, toddles into the room seeking to bring down a castle made of old blankets and pillows.

I sometimes pretend to do important laundry in the room next door, just to hear them play.  I love the cadence of their voices together.  Ava and Alyssa remind me of the small planet where we live.  You see, I flew across the world to meet my daughters in less time than it usually takes me to find the perfect pair of jeans.  They remind me that even when a human spirit encounters monumental, almost unspeakable loss and personal challenge…still anything is possible. 

Ava and Alyssa were born in Hunan Province, People’s Republic of China.  They each spent their early months of life in orphanages, as many Chinese adoptees do.  On September 16, 2002 they rode in separate buses several hours to the capitol city of Changsha.  They rode up 34 floors of a high-rise hotel to a conference room in the arms of nannies.  In a flurry of cameras flashing and adoptive parents crying, Ava and Alyssa were handed to us, their eager new parents within minutes of each other.  Alyssa’s mother cradled her new 10-month-old daughter carefully in her arms and leaned over to me, “We did it, they did it.  They’ve come a long way.”  I smiled nervously, with a crying 8-month-old in my inexperienced arms.  I did not know what to say to this woman I’d just met a few weeks ago, as I witnessed the intensely personal experience of her meeting her child for the first time.  Weary from emotion, I said, “Do you think they will be friends when we get home?”  As luck would have it, they did not have to wait that long.  The long days in Changsha were spent waiting on official papers to complete the adoptions.  Families passed the time in a playroom set up for adoptive children.  On more than one occasion Ava and Alyssa sat next to each other in that playroom, mysteriously reaching for each other’s hands and pacifiers, whichever came first.

When we returned from China, it was Alyssa’s mother who coaxed me out of my applesauce-stained kitchen, into a shower and out the door to play-dates.  When the girls were only 2 years old we started dropping them off at each other’s houses to play.  Ava and Alyssa fought like sisters and they made up with long, squishy, heartfelt embraces.  When they would argue over a toy, they would turn away from each other but keep physical contact  by sitting with their backs touching as they selected separate playthings.  It was clear to me early on that these two little girls did indeed have a special bond.  DNA does not bind them, nor does eating at the same breakfast table each morning.  They undoubtedly experienced separate and yet similar early challenges in life but were meant to meet, in of all places, a Chinese hotel conference room.  They found families a world away in America, living only seven minutes apart.   They adore each other.  They show love unconditionally.  They serve to gently remind those around them that life is fragile but the human spirit is strong.  They are simply, sisters of circumstance.  

Perrin enjoys time at home with her two little girls.  She also enjoys writing about life on the cul-de-sac at http://twoladybugs.blogspot.com and keeps up her business creativity with her handbag and accessory business - www.pinkevita.com