Himalayan Clarity: High Altitude Wisdom

Larry Pollock

In August 2007 I went on a 15-day Spiritual Yoga Journey to Tibet, led by Tenzin Bhagen, a native Tibetan and practicing Buddhist who has lived in the U.S. for 11 years.  A couple of things opened up for me about relationships on this amazing trip that I’d like to share with you.

I must alert you that this comes from a guy who has thoroughly experienced the difficult side of a relationship.  I was married for 22 years when my wife met someone she liked better and our marriage unraveled.  I was shocked and have gone through a long recovery period.  We’ve been divorced for 11 years now and to my knowledge her relationship with her present husband, is a happy one.  I’ve spent a long time working to forgive my former wife and as much or more time learning to forgive myself.  Call me crazy but being stripped down to bare metal by my marriage and divorce woke me up.

Going through this forgiveness process and then taking this remarkable journey to Tibet, I came to see that all relationships are sacred.  Waking up to this allowed me to see just how sacred my marriage and divorce had been. 

While on the trip to Tibet I was talking to a fellow traveler, a young man who was telling me about his relationship with his new girlfriend and trying to figure out how to choose wisely and not make a huge mistake.  After listening to him, I found myself offering, “In an absolute sense, you really can’t make a mistake.  Whichever way you go, you’ll get the lessons you need.”  When these words came out of my mouth, I realized I was talking to myself as much as I was to him.  My heart opened and I gained a whole new sense of freedom and understanding surrounding my own experience with marriage and divorce. 

My former wife and I don’t enjoy good communication even now - and it may always be this way.  But being aware of the sacredness of our relationship, both then and now, has given me peace, acceptance and gratitude - and that is really what I want in life.  I feel that the experience on the trip has taken me home.  As the master said, “That which you seek is already present.”  I’m grateful to know that regardless of the status of any relationship we’re in, it’s an opportunity to be aware of its sacredness.

I also gained another awareness that I intend to be mindful of in my current relationship. 

Although we’ve been in and out of this partnership for eight years, I know that we love each other and regard our relationship as an opportunity for growth.  We’re both somewhat steeped – maybe quite steeped – in various spiritual approaches.  We are also aware though, that two people in a partnership intended to be supportive can find it tempting to use spiritual approaches egoistically (i.e. an opportunity to beat each other up sacredly – not recommended).  These moments, of course, are indeed opportunities for deepening our spiritual growth.  I just thought it prudent to share my perception that people’s egos are not going to disappear no matter how evolved the partnership.

So for me, the bottom line is simply to wake up to the sacredness of our relationships and keep our eyes and hearts open.

And I wholeheartedly recommend Tenzin Bhagen’s trips for those seeking peace with their relationships as well as life in general.  More information is available at Tenzin’s website at www.tashidelektravel.com.  

Larry Pollock, President, Chief Executive Forum, Bloomfield Hills, MI, has since 1986 organized and facilitated small groups of Southeastern Michigan company CEO’s who meet regularly throughout the year to discuss the issues and challenges they face in their businesses.  Larry’s website is www.chiefexecforum.com