A Soft Place to Fall

Jan and Brad Lundy

Making Space Within

This involves literally moving our “self” out of the way so there is room within us to be truly available.  To be there for our partner (physically, mentally, and emotionally) in that very moment.  We can create inner space by quieting our mental chatter, taking some deep breaths or visualizing that our interior is vacating, being cleared of the clutter.  We create breathing room for ourself and for them.

Being Fully Present

As our partner’s soft place, there is nothing we need do but offer welcome.  Hospitality of the spirit is all that is required; no work is necessary.  We give ourself permission to just “be” with our partner.  We do not need to rescue or save or make them feel better.  Relief will come on its own by the very gift of our presence.  By bringing ourself to the present moment, we are reminded that this is also our perfect moment; we, too, get to just be.  With “being” comes feelings of relief, rest and deep peace for both of us.

Listening with an Open Heart

If our partner needs to share, our role is to simply listen.  To receive their story, their litany of sorrows and hold them carefully for our partner.  This is a sacred act to witness another’s letting go.  It is not necessary for us to respond or offer an opinion at this time. Just receive.  Let us remember, this sharing time is not about us.  It’s about us being able to serve them.  To listen without judgment with our wide-open heart.

Honoring the Entrustment

To come to another to be held, physically or emotionally, requires vulnerability and courage.  How important it us for us to receive one another tenderly with compassion!  To serve as each other’s soft place is an act of entrustment.  It is vital for the security of our relationship that we honor what happens in this very special place.  Therefore, we vow never to use these moments against our partner in the future, to strike back, or belittle them.

As we learn to be “a soft place” for one another, we will find our mutual trust deepening.  We will begin to appreciate each other more each time we come together in this way.  The more we are able to be present with one another, the more intimacy will be created.  With intention, attention and practice, we can become a true manifestation of pure Presence (of God, of Spirit, of Love) to another.

In actuality, we can be a soft place for anyone who comes into our lives.  We can be a soft place for our children to come to when they are hurting; for our friends when they are worried; for our neighbors or spiritual family when the weight of the world feels too burdensome to carry.  In a world that continues to challenge us in so many ways, it is crucial that we stay open and attentive to each other as much as possible.  Everyone needs a soft place to fall.  Indeed, being present in this way may be the most healing gift we can offer to others and to the world.