Bringing Joy Into Your Family

I recently watched the new inspirational DVD by Esther and Jerry Hicks called The Secret Behind the Secret.  What resonated with me was the message that we are placed on this earth to experience JOY.  Life takes on new meaning when we allow joy to flow into our life.  It is a whole other experience when we can allow it to flow from within us…reveling in our own joy.

Children are joy.  As infants and children we start out our journey in joy.  Many times, as we grow, that joy becomes more and more elusive.  Sometimes we even lose it in early childhood.  Yet we all have the opportunity to reconnect with it.

“Quality time” with our children is such a buzz word, that it has started to lose real meaning.  For me and my children, it is quiet moments of meaningful conversation….those moments at bedtime when they can open up and express their feelings about their day, their life, their dreams.  I did not get here overnight.  As  children of divorce, they had every opportunity to withdraw and lose that joy and openness.  I started small.   While visiting a friend and her family, she introduced me to their family ritual of  “my favorite part of the day”.   Each family member shares their favorite part of the day during dinner.  At first there was resistance or complaints.  This was quickly neutralized with a dramatic, “How very sad for you, that you did not have a favorite part of the day.”  Now it is a mainstay, and a ritual that we all enjoy.  It also helps to get them to the dinner table with minimal complaints.  While it sounds like such a little thing, these little rituals are the foundation to deeper connecting.

Once our kids open up about day to day events, it becomes more comfortable for them to open up about their friends, feelings, thoughts, and dreams.  I found that once I could connect with my children in this way, I enjoyed our time together.  I could find the joy in spending time with them.

My most important lesson of parenthood has been that children are often mirrors of where we are emotionally or energetically.  Our children cannot be happy and seek out the joy in life if they have no example from which to learn.  If I wake up in a grouchy mood, it will not be long before my children start to act the same.  Likewise, as I began to enjoy my time with them, they enjoyed the time as well.  We cannot bring joy to our relationships, if we do not have joy within ourselves.  This is when it is important to look in the mirror.  When did I lose the joy in my life?  When did that spark diminish?  Most importantly, how do I leave that in the past so that I can embrace that joy in the here and now?

The gift of joy is a beautiful gift to give ourselves and our children.  Allow the joy to flow in you.  Live the example for your children and the joy will flow from them as well.  Live to laugh…Live to love…Live in Joy!

Vanessa Cayle, MSPT is a physical therapist and owner/director of the CranioSacral Institute of MI., LLC.  She teaches and presents craniosacral therapy and Frequency Specific Microcurrent (FSM).  She is part of the National Advisory Board for FSM.