Releasing Your Story

Brad and Jan Lundy

What is it that you truly want out of life?  Is it inner peace and happiness?  Meaningful work and financial success?  A truly loving relationship?  No matter your answer, the key to having any one (or all) of them is the same:  You must choose them. Allow us to explain...

In the last few months, as we’ve been out and about presenting programs, we’ve noticed something very significant.  People love to tell us their stories.  Before, during, or after a presentation, many folks desire to share, what we’ve come to call, their “litany of sorrows.”  They’ll do this before a workshop: “Just to let you know where I’m coming from.”  Or, during a program, offering their history of hurts to the entire group: “These are my issues.”  And, afterwards, privately, going into great detail, “These are the terrible things I’ve been through.”  It seems so very important that we understand all the pain and suffering they’ve been subjected to throughout their lives.

By witnessing this, we’ve come to a profound awareness that the ego self, that aspect of our being which houses the hurt and wounded parts of us, wants to be heard and acknowledged.  It wants attention and pity.  It sends out broadcast after broadcast, urging us to speak our litany of sorrows aloud to whomever we need to bring closer to us.  By speaking our litany, we receive a payoff of some kind.  Perhaps it’s an, “I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” a hug, or perceived acceptance.

Granted, an initial expression of our litany can foster understanding, even compassion. But to repeat our negative stories again and again does not.  Instead, we create a prison of our own making.  By continually reliving our negative stories, we disempower ourselves.  We stay small, trapped in hurt, unable to embody a bright, new version of ourselves.

Reliving our negative stories also causes low vibration feelings to predominate.  As we re-experience the bad feelings associated with our history, our vibration may spiral downward.  Ifwe focus on these feelings we have no energy to think higher, or to move ahead.  Low vibration thoughts and feelings take us nowhere.  Again, we find ourselves stuck.

We’ve come to identify this process as  “running your tape.”  Running our tapes, telling the same pain-filled stories over and over again, is nothing more than an Ego Broadcast.  Nothing more than a blast from a noisy inner radio station that wants your attention, and the attention (sympathy) of others.  There must come a time when each of us begins to choose differently.  We can say to our ego and its broadcast, “No thanks. I’m choosing something better for myself!”

Making a new choice such as this is a profound moment of awakening. Now, we can begin to choose our happiness, our inner peace, our joy.  We de-select being a victim, listening to the tape, reciting the litany of sorrows, and by doing so, we choose LIFE.  We are now choosing who we want to be in the next moment, instead of it being chosen for us.

For our healing and growth in the Spirit, we must choose to let go of anything that keeps us disconnected from our spirit selves, especially our litany of sorrows.  Our spirit’s (and God’s) greatest desire is for us to be physically and emotionally free to be all that we can be.  Perhaps, for you, dear reader, that time has come.  So here are the steps for letting go, very simply put:

Become the Observer

Begin to notice the thoughts that you’re thinking.  Pay attention to the tape that is running in your head, the one that causes you to relive your story of hurt and pain.  Notice how bad you feel when you listen to that story.  Notice how the low vibration of remembering and repeating the story affects the quality of your daily life.  Is it keeping you angry, bitter or drained?

Uncover why you are running your tape

Be honest with yourself and ask:  What is it I’m hoping to gain by telling my story again? What is the payoff for me?  Do I want someone to like me, to feel sorry for me, or give me affection?  Hold yourself in compassion while you are discerning this.  This is a very big step toward disconnecting from the ego and its power over you.

Make a new choice

Acknowledge the tape that is running about your story, then choose to release it.  Admit that holding onto it might be keeping you from moving forward.  Then, let it go.  Continue to notice when the tape is running (anytime you have a strong urge to speak your litany to someone), then make a conscious decision not to speak it in that moment.  Again, let it go.

In time, this process will get easier.  The temptation to speak your woundedness will come less and less often as you keep your vibration infused with positive new thoughts  and feelings, focusing on the good choices you are making for yourself.

It requires a strong commitment to live as our truest selves in God, as our Spirit selves, especially when we have been governed (up until now) by our human operating system, by the ego and its negative orientation.  Personal happiness, meaningful work, success, true love, are latent within each of us, housed in our Spirit identity.  The key to bringing them up to the surface of our being so they are more prominent in our daily lives requires vigilance.  We must continually become the observer of our own thoughts and feelings, then make appropriate choices to reorient ourselves toward thoughts, feelings, and actions which align us with our highest selves, God, and others.  We must choose Spirit again and again.  When we do, life is no longer a frustrating game, but a Spirit-filled adventure in BECOMING.

Learn exciting new ways to connect with your partner spirit-to-spirit at the Lundy’s Perfect Love Retreat for Couples in May in Grand Rapids (see Calendar of Events).  Visit www.EnjoyPerfectLove.com to read excerpts from Perfect Love, their groundbreaking relationship book, to purchase copies, and receive their free e-newsletter. (800) 831-3230.