Letting Passion Take the Wheel

Kirsten Brieger

Fear is the number one inhibitor to following our passions.  When we are truly in our passions, we bring the best of ourselves to everything we do.  When we share our unique gifts with others and the world, we bring only the best and most genuine self. These are the messages that in my late 30’s and 40’s I have finally embraced and that have allowed me to truly express and share myself as an artist/creator.

 I remember as a very young child passionately drawing in my high chair and looking with satisfaction at my work.  (There are family photos giving evidence of this.).  Somewhere along the line that child became inhibited.  My passion for creating was never extinguished but like many people, I got the message that it wasn’t good enough and that I wasn’t good enough.  This, along with fear, stopped me from even considering the pursuit of my passion as a career.

For a good part of my life I had been depressed.  This started to change a few years ago when a spiritually-based therapist pointed out that all of my drawings were filled with such love, spirit and joy that this had to be the “true me.”  After all, she noted,  I could not create something that was not part of me.  She continued to encourage me to draw and paint more often.  I must admit that I was a very stubborn and skeptical customer!  But something about this rang true.  More and more I allowed myself to get into my artwork.  As soon as I started to pursue art more fully, it became clear that when we are on track with passion, the universe responds with abundance and resonates with affirmation.  I created a studio in my basement and became immersed for hours in doing collage mosaics.  Feeling the glue on my hands and watching the grout as it oozed between the mosaics became such a part of me I didn’t want to stop!  When I’m creating, I am creating my own little universes.  I converse with the trees, the animals, the special tiles and broken shards.  I become one with my materials and completely immersed in the joy of what I am creating!  I also found a passion for walking beaches and railroad tracks, looking for things of interest (rocks, rusted metal, etc.).  I know that I have inspired others to look at discarded objects in a different way.  Going to garage sales and flea markets I meet many different people and have so many exciting conversations about their passions and my own.

I realized for the first time, that growing up, I had taken in the message that a career was about intellectual pursuits.  And here, my greatest pleasure came from working with my hands!  So my next hurdle was to make art a livelihood.  Again, the frightened child in me rose up, saying “oh no, they won’t like it” and I became overwhelmed.  This changed, when in a spiritually-based meeting one evening I pulled an American Indian Shaman card indicating that my gift is a healing gift.  It completely changed my perspective as I had never even thought of my art as a gift, never mind a healing gift!

As I learn to be more accepting and loving of myself, I grow more confident about sharing myself with others.  I had to learn, no, internalize that it doesn’t matter if some people are not interested or don’t care for my work.  Many will, and many have been, touched.  I know that having shared the deepest part of myself is what really counts.  I’m learning too, that loving myself is the only way to true acceptance and the ability to work, play and love freely.

Recently, our family acquired a Jack Russell Terrier puppy for our son.  Soon our yard was peppered with  tiny holes and I would find a single -minded puppy, deaf to all calls, passionately snarling and digging at the roots in the ground.  As this pup looked up at me in all innocence, with his dirty little nose, it dawned on me that this was true passion!  Jack Russells are made to dig, just as I was made to create.  Instead of getting angry with him, I now gently take him from the hole, hug him, and acknowledge him saying,  “Boy, you are passionate about digging!”

Today, I have self-published a children’s book called Smile; a little poem with bright illustrations that celebrates what is simple and enduring in life.  I also create works of art, which I call collage mosaics from reclaimed objects.  These works are an expression of my passion for all life, my great belief in the oneness of all things in the universe and a desire to see peace.  My greatest pleasure is to hear that my book has made someone laugh or smile, and that my artwork has drawn people into a world of peace and tranquility, during an otherwise hectic day.

Yes, there are days when the nagging voices of discontent and fear still knock, and those are the days that I know are best spent acknowledging but not accepting them as truth.  I take a little break from my creative work and do something else for a while.  After having acknowledged the old voices, from my place of knowing that they aren’t  true, they quickly recede and I return to my studio, free to effortlessly and joyously create!

Kirsten Brieger lives in Huntington Woods Michigan.  She is a first time author/ illustrator and collage mosaic artist.  Soon, original prints of the art and text from Brieger’s book will be displayed at Children’s Hospital of Michigan.  To order her book Smile or inquire about her book or art please contact her at theshiningheart@comcast.net