Spiritual Practice: A Road to Greater Intimacy

by Brad and Jan Lundy

We wake up gently, slowly.  We turn and greet each other after a night’s sleep, then physically connect by lying close or holding hands.  We spend the first few minutes of our day waking up together.  Checking in to see how each of us has slept, we share our feelings of the moment.  We¹re fully present to one another - listening well, speaking softly.  This is our morning spiritual practice as a couple.  This is the “soft place” we have created for one another to begin our day, connected to our spirits and the greater Spirit, or God.  And, yes, we really do this every single day.

Being peace, being Love, begins with the most powerful intention of all - a commitment to engage in activities (practices) that support our spiritual connection.  We have chosen to begin our day in gentle ways, because, by doing so, we set the tone for everything that follows.  We elect not to dash out of bed to the sound of a blaring alarm clock or elbow our way to the shower.  We leave the radio or television off so we aren’t greeted by negative news fueled by fear and terror.  This would fracture the intention we’ve set to begin our day of “being peace, being Love.”

Everyone can do this.  Why then don’t most of us make such positive choices?  We believe it’s because we have not been conditioned to or taught how.  Instead, we have been conditioned to listen to the ego and its broadcasts to rush, grasp, struggle and survive.  The ego, which tends to dominate our thinking, tells us: 1.) we have no time for such practices, 2.) they are too much work, 3.) their results don’t last, and 4.) only a select few people can live this way.  Most of us have been operating on autopilot, an ego program which keeps us busy, moving, productive, and disconnected from our inner world.

The concept of spiritual practice may also need reframing if we are to grasp its power.  Spiritual practice does not mean doing something over and over again until you get it right.  Spiritual practice means giving yourself over to something - an activity - which plugs you into your Spirit identity.  An activity that feels so good that you want to do it again and again.  By doing it repeatedly (for at least 90 days, for that is how long it takes to create a habit), you can begin to feel it transforming your life.  The act takes you to new vistas of inner peace and Love, becoming a necessary part of your lifestyle.  With continued practice, it will eventually become who you are.

Engaging in spiritual practice does require your conscious choice.  For example, for me (Jan), it requires that I avoid going to my computer (especially email) first thing in the morning and getting caught up in a whirl of correspondence and task completion.  Instead, I light a candle, put on some soft music and go to my journal for a few minutes of reflection.  For Brad, it may mean sitting in an overstuffed chair to gaze out over the water, remaining quietly thoughtful.  These are simple spiritual practices for us and we make a mindful choice each and every morning to go in their direction rather than toward activities that cause disharmony within and between us.

It would be very easy to get caught up in the ego’s broadcasts, especially coming out of sleep - messages of worry about the day ahead, work and financial obligations, family issues, etc.  Our ego self has a powerful default system set toward negativity, especially worry or fear, which can kick into gear at any given moment, especially first thing in the morning.  It’s not easy to wake up to these broadcasts, negative self-talk which weakens us energetically.  Listening to them can lead us into a downward spiral of tension, gloom and doom.  Spiritual practice, a commitment to starting each day focused on gentle activities that shift your inner world, can be your saving grace.

Other examples of “first light” spiritual practices might be: showering or bathing with intention, allowing the water to slough off tension or negative thinking from your body; eating healthful foods, slowly, enjoying them with gratitude in a peaceful setting; driving to work with soft music on the radio, engaged in silence, or listening to an inspirational audio-book; connecting with nature through a walk; spending time with pets; and many more.  Obviously, these can be done individually or with someone else.

The ultimate goal of spiritual practice is to passionately connect with something, anything, that plugs you into Spirit, providing a felt experience of peace, love, joy or gratitude.  An experience you can go to again and again to keep you on an intentional path.  To buoy you when times get tough.  Remembrances you can call upon when the ego tries to pull you in toward feelings of fear, frustration or overwhelm.

To engage in spiritual practices as a couple has been one of the most profound experiences of our lives.  Committing to be with one another in these ways has taken our intimacy to wonderful new levels.  By doing so, we continually send messages of Love to one another: “You and our spiritual connection are important to me.” “I value the time I spend with you.” “You are my soul’s companion.”

Any of us can begin to “be peace“ and “be Love” when we develop practices that align us with those qualities.  It is not difficult, but it does take setting the intention, then making a pledge to follow through.  To “practice” again and again, until it becomes so ingrained in our daily lives that we cannot imagine living any other way.  Then, and only then, will we be the peace and Love we wish to make manifest in the world.

Learn exciting new ways to connect with your partner spirit-to-spirit at the Lundy’s Perfect Love Retreat for Couples in February in Grand Rapids (see Calendar of Events).  Visit www.EnjoyPerfectLove.com to read excerpts from Perfect Love, their groundbreaking relationship book, to purchase copies, and receive their free e-newsletter. (800) 831-3230.