A Change of Heart

by Amy Lane

I worked in family practice for almost ten years, where I dealt with the same things day in and day out; the common cold, aches and pains, well child exams and physicals.  I never really got involved with the patients.  There were just too many of them and too little time.  I got to know them, not by their names but by their ailments, medications and diagnoses.  I accepted this as the norm and so did my patients.  Looking back, I realize that at some point I became numb and told myself it was OK, the patients wouldn’t notice and they probably wouldn’t care as long as we made them feel better. 

Then I got a reality check.  I started working at The Wege Institute: Mind, Body and Spirit where I realized that patients not only crave that attention but physically need it.  I learned that so many patients just need a kind word or for me to listen to them, not just with my ears but also with my heart.  I think on some level we all care for our patients, no matter what practice we are in but here, they seem to personally know them and be involved in their lives.  They know about their husbands, wives and children.

Then one day I met Mari.  She was very guarded, shy.  Just by looking at her you could tell she had lost all hope. This made me wonder what patients thought of me when they first looked at me.  Was I judgmental, rude, impatient or uncaring?  I had never treated the patient as a whole person. I had just looked at the problem.  When I started to talk to Mari and pay attention to her body language and her words, I started to understand her a little better.  She was suffering from depression and anxiety.  She was nervous, scared and had lost faith in the medical profession.  The first statement out of her mouth was “You are my last option, no other doctor can help.”  I could sense her desperation as her eyes welled up.

To my surprise, I did something that I had never done before.  I sat down in the chair next to her and just listened with my heart; the way I would want someone to listen to me if I were hurting and in despair.  As I listened to her tell me why she had come, I realized that she was placing all of her trust and hope in us.  When someone tells you that you are their last resort, you take on their battles, you get in the trenches and you fight right alongside them.  You may not always get the results that you had planned or wished for, but you can help to restore their hope and support them every step of the way.

The next time I saw Mari she was a totally different person, not on the outside but on the inside. Her eyes now had life in them and she was smiling.  Her words were optimistic.   She thanked me for listening to her and for showing her that there are people out there who still care and take time to get to know the patient.  Hearing this should make me feel wonderful, right?  Instead, I felt sick for all of the people I had ignored, was too busy for.  In how many lives could I have made a difference but chose to close myself off to them because I thought I was too busy.  What is more important than human connection and who am I to say who gets it and who doesn’t?  Who are any of us to make that decision?

I now like to think of my time in terms of being there for each person, to give them hope and the respect they deserve.  I am so thankful for learning the importance of working with the whole person.  I now take the time to listen and care for each person, as I would want to be listened to and cared for.

Amy Lane, Medical Assistant for Dr. Leonard Wright, Medical Director of The Wege Institute: Mind, Body and Spirit. Amy has been a MA for 10 years in Family Practice.