Kindness

When I think of the word kindness, images of soft smiles, loving hugs, and soothing words flow through my mind.  One such simple, quiet act, as fleeting as it may be, can change forever the life of another.  I suspect that there are very few people who can’t reach back and find a memory of receiving an act of kindness that altered them in some way.  For me it’s waking up in a hospital bed at the age of seven and hearing the words “isn’t she sweet”.  It wasn’t the words themselves but the pure unadorned love they contained that found its place in my heart and psyche.  I was still groggy from the anesthetic I had been given to reset a broken arm and was slowly coming back to the surface when I heard the words.  As I opened my eyes, I saw two nuns standing at the foot of my bed.  They were dressed in the long black habits they used to wear back then and their faces wore the expressions of pure love.  I can’t explain why the focusing of so much love on me had such a profound effect but I know that even decades later it’s this memory that I go back to when I need a reminder that I am worthy of love.

It’s also a reminder to me that the most important and profound acts are often not the ones we “do” but the ones we “are”.  As the nuns made their rounds in the pediatric ward that day they performed an act of kindness by stopping by the bed of a very scared little girl.  The gift they gave was the sharing of the deep love and kindness that existed inside them.

As I get older and more mature, I’m learning more about the other face of kindness.  This one doesn’t look kind and soft and often comes in words that can feel harsh, but has behind it intense love and courage.  We see this often with parents who act swiftly to prevent their children from putting themselves in danger.  Much more rare, is to find it in adult relationships.  Very precious indeed are the friends who can reach down inside of themselves and pull up their deepest love, courage and commitment to another’s growth to offer the supreme act of kindness.  To say, “no, you must stop.  You are hurting yourself and others.” And then stand firm, knowing that they risk losing the friendship.

For those of us fortunate enough to have such friends, there is little to do but reach inside for our own courage and love and then offer a prayer of gratitude.

Pat Lutz
Managing Editor