Ancestors

I recently went to a funeral of a distant relative that I had only met a few times.  I have to say that I was struck by the simplicity and beauty of what was shared about her.  In a strange way, I always leave funerals inspired to live a better life and to become a better person.  I am usually reminded that the legacy we leave has nothing to do with the “worldly” things we achieve and accumulate, but rather with the amount of love we create in the simple moments of everyday life.

When is the last time you heard someone at a funeral say, “Dave was a great saver, he had plenty when he retired.” Or, “Sue always got all her chores done.”  Or, “Sam made bundles of money and had three houses.”  No, what you hear at funerals are things like, “I remember sitting on the back porch with my grandma and her telling me stories about her childhood.”  Or, “My dad was a great listener, he was always there when I needed him.”  Or, “My brother loved to give big bear hugs – I always felt safe when I was being hugged by him.”

And yet, where does this wise perspective go when I am obsessing about my savings and figuring the days I have left to retirement, or when I miss a chance to connect with someone I love because I’m too stressed to be bothered, or when I won’t forgive a friend or relative who has wronged me because they’re the ones who should be apologizing to me!

And what does all of this have to do with ancestors?  Everything.  As Emerson once put it, “Every man is a quotation from all his ancestors.”  Each simple moment that we see and embrace those that we love, give a hug, really listen or share an intimate conversation, we create our future ancestral line.  We are deciding what we value and therefore what our children will value and their children and their children’s children.  We’re clearing a path; we’re creating our legacy.  The greatest legacy I think anyone can leave to their children is the inner work that they do on themselves.  After all, every time we lay down a piece of family baggage, that’s one less piece of luggage that our children have to carry on the journey of their lives.

So, next time you’re wondering what your life is about, and where to direct your energy, think of your life as a quote and just ponder what you want it to say.

Here’s to our Ancestors!