Children Mirror Our Energy

Ever have one of those days where nothing is going right? The kids are out of sorts, you’ve been running ten minutes behind schedule all day and you just can’t seem to get a handle on things. Life just seems out of balance. On those days, I tend to look outside myself for the cause of this chaotic feeling. I blame it on the kids, my friends or the state of the world. However, lately I have been learning about how my energy affects my day, my family and the world around me. Instead of looking outward for answers, I now look inward.

When my energy is out of balance, the first place I notice the effects is with my children. On days when I am fully present, exuding loving energy and patience, my children and I are in sync and our family unit flows beautifully. On days where I am impatient, spiritually absent and looking for ways to numb myself from emotional pain, my children seem cranky, clingy and generally in a state of emotional upheaval.

Typically, on those days, I get angry with them for misbehaving and an inevitable conflict begins. Out of frustration I may yell, which in turn causes them to shut down or yell back. This vicious cycle continues until my heart aches and we are all feeling physically and spiritually drained.

In my search for a new way to be with my kids, I began to really understand that my children’s emotional state of being mirrored the way I was feeling at any given moment. If my energy is off, so is theirs. If I feel present and loving, so do they. Even if conflict arises - when our hearts are open - we are still able to move through it much more smoothly.

It’s only natural that out of the fear and desperation of being energetically abandoned, children will use any behavioral device possible to shake us from our self-crippling haze. They just want their soul connection to their mommy and daddy back. Can you blame them?

As parents we have a contract with our children to be there for them
on a much deeper level than we may realize. Our energy can nurture and promote our kid’s spirit or it can crush it. So the next time your family rhythm seems off, take a moment and check in with yourself. Are you in your heart? Do you feel present and in the moment? You’ll be surprised how little time it takes to center yourself and keep the positive energy flowing between you and your loved ones. Your children will thank you.

Linda Hasley is a writer and poet living in Royal Oak, Michigan with her husband and three daughters. She and her twin sister Lisa have published their first book together, Sacred. The book is a collection of poetry and photography honoring the sacred journey of parenthood. For book ordering and more information go to www.sacredportraitsphotography.com