It Takes a Village

by Linda Hasley

We are longing to go home to some place we have never been – a place half-remembered and half-envisioned, we can only catch glimpses of from time to time. Community.
~ Starhawk

The phrase “It takes a whole village to raise a child” reminds us that no man, woman or family is meant to be an island. This ancient African proverb never meant more to me than right after the birth of my first child. Holding my newborn for the first time was the greatest moment of my life but it was also the loneliest. What was supposed to be a happy time left me feeling very isolated and disconnected from the world. I was unsure of my mothering skills and needed someone with experience to help guide me - something that parenting books just couldn’t offer.

Out of necessity, I began to venture out and make a few connections with other moms and people in my community. Then something miraculous happened; my home began to buzz with life as these many wonderful people came in and out of our lives teaching and loving us along the way. It was through these beautiful connections and a sense of community that I was able to grow into a confident, caring mother of three lovely daughters. My children were also able to benefit from a well-rounded environment where people from all age groups and backgrounds helped raise them. In turn, these people became a part of our family and experienced what they needed for their own personal growth. Thus, a village was born.

Today, it is not uncommon for me on warm summer days to be sitting on my front lawn with several other moms chatting about life while our children play around us. Some mothers are nursing their newborns, while others are tending to a scraped knee or refereeing a squabble. On these days, my soul is in heaven. My heart beats a familiar rhythm as if I have done this very same thing for hundreds of years. I believe our souls long to remember our tribal roots when whole villages raised their children together. We crave the universal oneness of community. It reminds us of our soul connection to God.

Our society today is not set up to promote this type of oneness. With our busy lives and our seemingly unsafe neighborhoods, we tend to isolate ourselves from one another. It is up to us to reach out to each other and create the village that our children need to become the universal beings of tomorrow. Introduce yourselves to your neighbors, start a local mom’s group – gather together with a community of liked-minded people. With our help, our children will learn how to recreate the very same village that they were raised in for the next generation - and so on…and so on.…and so on…..

Linda Hasley is a writer and poet living in Royal Oak, Michigan with her husband and three daughters. She and her twin sister Lisa, will be publishing their first book Sacred due out May of 2006. The book is a collection of poetry and photography honoring the sacred journey of parenthood. For more information go to www.sacredportraitsphotography.com