Taking Action

by Megan Raphael and Jennifer Byron

"Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind...what we sow, is what we reap.   And when we choose actions that bring happiness and success to others, the fruit of our karma is happiness and success."   Deepak Chopra

You may have seen the campaign blasting through typical "youth market" media and challenging the audience with "VERB - It's What You Do". It's   a program designed to get young people up and moving by encouraging them to pick their "verb" i.e. skate, swim, bike, hike... and do it. (Ironically, they have a pretty sophisticated website where you can create a custom persona and play virtual tennis with Venus Williams or soccer with Landon Donovan. - so much for getting kids up and out!) Regardless of the execution, I think the concept of "VERB" is great. And it got me thinking about the verbs I use and how imprecisely we all use words and phrases in our language.

For example: Why do we say we're going to "take action"? Are we taking it somewhere? Are we taking it from someone? Are we planning on returning when we're done? Do we ever "give" action? Certainly we've all been on the receiving end of "action". But if everyone is always "taking" it, why does it sometimes feel like we've been had? And if the synonyms for "take" are seize, grasp, grab, clutch or snatch, is that really what we want to do with "action" - or with anything else for that matter?

You've seen those year-end lists where they vote on which words should be eliminated from our language, well this year, I've developed my own list of verbs that I am going to ditch (things I no longer want to "do")   and some I'm going to incorporate in my language and my actions.

Out with the old - (these verbs gotta go...)

React: Merriam-Webster's definition for this word is: "to exert a reciprocal or counteracting force or influence: to act in opposition to a force or influence". I'm usually clear on when I'm reacting to someone or something, I feel powerless. React sets me up for one of two behaviors. Either I "act in opposition" which feels too forceful and something a "good girl" wouldn't do, or I retreat. When I choose to react, I give my power over to the other person. This year I'm going to "verb" - respond instead. Respond literally means to make an answer or to be answerable. In response, I can take the time to think, reflect and consider answering any "action" that comes my way.

Try: ...as in "I'll try my best". How often have we all said that? We might as well say, I'll attempt to...sort of...kind of...live fully...maybe. It's one of the most wishy-washy words in our language. Why don't we just say "I'll do my best"? One of the ways I use it is when I want a way out. I'll try to make it ...means I haven't really found a way to tell you I am not planning on coming. Or I'll try to make your meeting, means I don't really have the guts to say I have other priorities (after all I want you to like me...). So this year I'm dropping try in favor of allow. Synonyms for allow are: think, say, state, intend, plan, admit and permit. Imagine how positive and powerful it would be to say - "I allow my best". And if I can't make your dinner party, I'm going to allow myself to do something else that night.

Take: I know I've already done a rant on this one, but seriously, when I started paying attention to all the ways in which I used this word I was shocked. I take time, take advantage, take hold, take issue, even take the cake - all of which mean I am really grasping and grabbing instead of opening up or extending myself. So this year, I'm going to give time, give advantage, give thought to issues, give the cake and give myself a break.

The verbs we choose are important. They label our actions, as well as our intent. Language is powerful and we can choose to use language with thought or to simply pull whatever phrase comes to mind. Either way, we set the path for our experiences. Choose your verbs carefully - "it's what you do".

Now if I could just figure out why we have "action" heroes, but no "reflection" heroes...

Jennifer Byron and Megan Raphael are Executive Directors of the Women and Courage Project, dedicated to acknowledging and celebrating the everyday expressions of women's courage and power. Look for their upcoming book, Without Fanfare: Women, Courage and Life Choices, slated for publication in mid-2005. They may be contacted at True North Experiences/FIM Group, 1-877-922-2235.