Courage: Women Defining Power

By Jennifer Byron and Megan Raphael

Merriam-Webster’s synonyms for power include: “Authority, Jurisdiction, Control, Command, Sway, Dominion mean the right to govern or rule or determine. Power implies possession of ability to wield force, permissive authority, or substantial influence.”

Geez, no wonder most women go screaming from the room when the conversation turns to the topic of power. We’d rather subject ourselves to a bikini wax! With examples of these definitions of power making their way into almost all aspects of our lives, most women would rather experience toe-nail fungus or gingivitis than get intimate with the concept of power.

And yet, the word power itself has its root in the Old French word poeir meaning simply, “to be able.” How did we get from such a neutral beginning to today’s highly-charged, ‘power over‚’ connotations?

Similarly, how did the word “courage,” again from the Old French, which started as cuer meaning “with heart,” become co-opted to describe only feats of unbelievable heroics involving physical danger?

The answer is shift. Over time there has been a movement within our society that has dramatically shifted the definitions, and therefore, the norms of our culture. Well, sisters, we’re here to tell you we think it’s time for another shift—a shift driven by women to catalyze real change in the world, sparked by new definitions of power and courage.

This September we attended an amazing conference in New York, “Women & Power—Our Time to Lead.” The gathering brought together over 1000 women from around the globe to reexamine what power means, and share visions for a world with greater balance, a world that honors women’s compassion and wisdom. In the opening address, Eve Ensler, creator of “Vagina Monologues” and V-Day, spoke about the need for a shift from old to new ways of looking at power. In the new paradigm, power would be defined by words such as “include, inspire, lift up, be with, let go, sharing, expanding, power in service of, seeking solutions not revenge, collaborating, looking at underlying causes, inviting.” She, as we do, believes that women will be the ”carriers of the new paradigm.”

To redefine power means that we also need to see courage in a new way. It requires us to shift from defining courage only as acts of valor (scaling the Himalayas, rescuing someone from a burning building, etc.) to understanding the courage it takes to live life authentically and from our hearts. It means that we honor women who everyday—without fanfare—display wisdom, compassion and collaboration.

It takes courage to follow our inner compass—courage to take a stand, make a change, speak our truth, envision a new reality. But when we do, we connect with the authentic power that resides within, and allows us to birth a new way of being powerful in the world.

Everyday, in many ways—big and small, women act courageously. Yet women don’t often recognize the acts of courage and power they display. For the past several months we have been interviewing women about courage for an upcoming book. What we have heard over and over again, is that even women who have left unhealthy relationships, or dead-end jobs, or stood up for themselves in difficult situations, often do not describe themselves as courageous. They are uncomfortable saying they are courageous because their acts of courage do not fit the current definition.

We have bought into the mass conscious beliefs about power and courage. It is time to shift to a new understanding of how courageous living from personal power creates the collaboration, compassion and mutual respect that is necessary to change the world. It is time to acknowledge and celebrate the everyday expressions of courage that come from women who say to themselves:”I am responsible for my life... My life matters... I am enough.” This is the power that will change the world.

Jennifer Byron and Megan Raphael are Executive Directors of the Women and Courage Project, dedicated to acknowledging and celebrating the everyday expressions of women’s courage and power. Look for their upcoming book, Without Fanfare: Women, Courage and Life Choices, slated for publication in mid-2005. They may be contacted at True North Experiences/FIM Group, 1-877-922-2235.