Freedom from Struggle

By Jenny Rowe

By the time you read this, I’ll have celebrated my 6th anniversary of freedom from struggling with my body and weight.

I struggled with my weight for years—only to have it climb up to almost 200 lbs. During that time after a day of eating way more than needed and feeling horrible about myself, I resolved over and over to do better tomorrow. The emotional pain was so strong at times that I felt it physically. I remember the agony of trying to fill the hurt with food, the downward emotional spiral that it created with the corresponding upward spiral of my weight. I was filled with self-hatred and no matter how critical or tough I was with myself, I couldn’t stick with my attempts to get control of/and reduce my weight for any sustained length of time.

Just before Christmas 1998 a recurring illness set in again. My doctor was away for two weeks, referring patients to ready-care facilities. I had been having Natural Spiritual Healing and Progressive Counselling for a few months and decided to ask another healer, who was trained in many natural therapies, for advice on how to heal this illness before going to the ready-care. It turned out that about 90% of what I was eating was actually making it harder for my body to heal (my diet was very narrowly focused). I decided to change my diet—choosing foods that would help my body. I began on Christmas Day, choosing foods out of love and respect for my body—which meant foregoing all the usual holiday treats and much of what I was used to eating. I was amazed at how easy this was despite all the treats in clear view (my husband didn’t need to change his diet). I can see that the healing I was receiving helped to strengthen my connection to my Higher Self (the unconditionally loving, wise part of us that knows what’s best for us in any given situation) and that this new strength and choosing from love, not criticism, was the difference to my failed attempts to change in the past.

What happened? I continued to have Natural Spiritual Healing and Progressive Counseling. My body healed the illness. I learned to really love and accept myself unconditionally—as I was right then, not withholding love until I had lost a certain number of pounds. I learned that if I was “too open” I might easily overeat because I wouldn’t be as aware of my physical body as when I’m full. To help with this, my healer taught me a way of “covering over” to use before I eat (this tool has many other applications and is especially helpful for caregivers, of any sort!) For years previous to this, I was very rarely physically hungry because I was eating much more than needed.

Another very loving choice I made was to take the Pure Meditation Course and begin to feed myself spiritually every day in meditation. Though I wasn’t consciously aware of it then, I see now that this has undoubtedly been a part of what has sustained me through this change in a way that I couldn’t before. That what I really was starving for all those years I struggled with myself was not physical food, but spiritual food, inner peace and self love. In the Pure Meditation Course I also learned practical tools to use any time I felt upset or disturbed to restore peace right away. So even when I felt challenged by life/events/people, I had my spiritual tools to turn to—bringing me peace, love and even joy during the challenges—I no longer needed to turn to the refrigerator. In hindsight, it seems likely that until I found a way to satisfy that spiritual hunger I probably would have either continued to struggle with weight, or with some other addiction, because no matter what else I might try, it would not have answered the true need of my spirit.

And the end result? With the upliftment of my being through healing and meditation, my weight came down to a very comfortable level more than five years ago and, with slight ups and downs, has stayed there since. I was quickly able to reintroduce the old foods and treats back into my diet, but now eat them in a balanced, loving way. So without weight loss even being a “goal,” by making my choices about food from love and respect for my body, it responded in kind by releasing the extra weight. I leave you with these thoughts:

Love is the energy of Creation.
Self-criticism, or negativity of any sort, is destructive.
To create a change for yourSelf, choose love.

Jenny Rowe is now a Natural Spiritual Healer and Progressive Counsellor at the Self Realization Meditation Healing Centre, a non-profit, near Lansing, Michigan. The Centre offers many ways to help including instruction in Pure Meditation, Meditation Foundation, retreats and more. Call 517-641-6201, email SRMHCMichigan@cs.com, or visit www.selfrealizationcentres.org.