Setting Goals Successfully

By Terry Bienkowski, C.H.

Goal setting can be a lot tricker than one might think. It is not just a matter of writing your goals down. If it were, many more people would be able to keep their new year's resolutions. Unfortunately, a lot of people will not make the changes that will bring them happiness until they are in a lot of pain. Their goals, their resolutions, are not based on what will make them happy but rather on what doesn't work. Hence, they are based on fear. Fear then rules their life.

For example, if your goal is to get out of debt, you are basing your goal on all the bills you have to pay and on the money you feel you do not have. If you are wanting to lose weight because you feel you are too fat then your goal is based on what is wrong with you. A lot of individuals are led by fear and not love.

If you have been working on a particular goal for sometime and have not been able to reach it, it is a safe bet that is is based on a fear of some kind. And, most of the time that fear is a fear of failure. And, if you think you might fail, you won't try to succeed. You are ruled by your fears and not by what makes you happy.

So, how do you know if you are being ruled by your fears? Simple, you are not happy. Fear keeps you in a prison and happiness lets you out. And, happiness is a choice. Viktor Frankel, a concentration camp survivor was forced to take his clothes off, checked for circumcision, ordered to remove his wedding ring and forced to live under the most horrendous conditions and torture. The one thing he said they could not take away from him was his choice as to how he was going to feel, how he chose to respond to conditions around him

To quote Frankel, “Happiness is a decision that you make, the last of human freedoms.” To choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. What you give your attention to gets stronger. If you try focusing on fixing what is broken, you'll only give what's broken more strength. Instead, strengthen what does work. By focusing your goals on love, on what makes you happy and on what does work, you will create change because you are fulfilled and will want more.

So, the first step in successful goal setting is to go over the goals you have written down and ask yourself if they are based on fear or on love.

Using the prior example, instead of writing down that you want to get out of debt, write down all the things that make you happy in your work and in your life in general and make the goal to do more of that. Remember the book, “Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow.” Or, if you are wanting to lose weight, make the goal to live your life in a vibrant and healthy body and make the changes accordingly.

This is a very subtle change in writing down your goals but in will make all the difference in the world to accomplishing your goals.

Next issue Terry will write the second step to successful goal achieving which is completion's and consistency.

Terry Bienkowski C.H. is a hypnotherapist and instructor of hypnotherapy with two private practices in Grand Rapids and Grand Haven. If you would like a listing of Terry's workshops and or set up a private session with her call (616) 844-4416. You may also want to subscribe to her monthly newsletter called "Terry's Tips" by e-mailing her at oneheart@chartermi.net

The above article was taken from Terry's soon to be published book, Creating a Life Worth Living.