A Journey of Love

By Linda Adamcz

September 11, 2002 was a significant day in my life. It marked both the end of my employment as a therapist at a community mental health center where I had worked for fourteen years and the beginning of a new life as an independent clinician facilitating Integrative Breathwork Workshops. I knew a year in advance that this change would occur. I just didn’t know when. In November of 2001, I was a participant at a two day experiential painting workshop in Chicago. Images appeared in one of my paintings that revealed I had a terrible weight on my shoulders. When I was asked by the workshop facilitator what this was about, I realized my workload was overwhelming. I knew I would need to leave my place of employment at some time in the future. This was a place where I had been so happy working for many years. I spent the lunch break at a lake nearby, in tears. When I returned I finished the painting with words, saying goodbye over and over to many people who were not only co-workers but also friends. In July of 2002, when I was on retreat, a message came to me very clearly. Now is the time to leave. I had been feeling discouraged because I was behind in my work. I knew then that this wasn’t my fault. I returned to work and handed in my resignation. I felt sad saying goodbye over the next six weeks to both clients and co-workers. At the same time, I experienced a sense of relief. I would be able to spend more time involved in work I truly enjoyed and that I knew could benefit other people.

I first became involved in Integrative Breathwork as a participant nearly ten years ago. I had a very interesting life but experienced depression on different occasions. I believe this was the result of childhood trauma which included poverty, witnessing violence and experiencing physical and emotional abuse. Individual and group therapy were helpful to me but it wasn’t until I was involved in breathwork that deeper healing took place. Integrative Breathwork is a meditative, musical journey that is self-directed. It involves mind, body and spirit and can move a person from ordinary states of consciousness. This work can access the different energy centers of the body and divine wisdom. One result may be the release of limitations, fears and healing of emotional pain. People who have experienced major life transitions, grief/loss issues, blocked creativity, job stress or burnout or addictive patterns may also benefit. Breathwork can provide increased understanding about life events and one’s purpose in life, greater strength and compassion and renewed optimism for the future.

The healing I received and the sense of a deeper purpose for my life led to my decision to become certified as a practitioner of Integrative Breathwork. I completed training in 1998 and offered workshops once a month for four years. Ending a twenty-two year marriage and the accidental death of a co-worker during this time had a strong impact on me. I wanted to offer workshops more frequently. Making the decision to leave and the changes that followed weren’t easy but they have been extremely worthwhile. My health in all areas—emotional, physical, spiritual and psychological—has greatly improved. It took me several months to recover but I am no longer exhausted. I have time to walk and practice yoga on a daily basis. I am able to more easily have contact with friends. I am no longer emotionally torn apart by having to follow policies I believe to be wrong and harmful to others. I am grateful for the wonderful experiences I had when I worked for a public agency and all that I learned. And the learning continues. I have found that it isn’t always easy in the area of finances when a person works independently. The challenges I have faced have strengthened me. When fears or doubts arise, I paint, spend time in meditation and prayer or journal. I walk an outdoor labyrinth on a regular basis. I have made a few mistakes but that is part of the learning process.

I am aware that I have not made this journey by myself. So many friends have given me love, support and assistance with developing my own business. I am deeply grateful. I have two special cats in my life who give me unconditional love and bring me much joy. My greatest strength comes from my faith in a Divine Being who loves us all more than we can know. If I become discouraged, I remember my life experiences where “miracles” have occurred. My high school class ring was lost nearly thirty years ago. It was returned to me last year. I believe there is divine guidance when we are open to it and divine order to many of our experiences. Friends have told me I have a lot of courage. For me it isn’t about courage. It is knowing without any doubts that this is the path for me. I don’t know exactly what the future holds and that can be both exciting and scary. Living in the mystery. But I know who I am. I am alive. I feel joy and a sense of peace when I wake up each morning. I know what I believe and what I stand for. I can be myself and like myself. I am involved in work that is meaningful, authentic and joyful. Words can’t adequately express my gratitude. Most important of all, if this is possible for me, it is possible for others also.

Linda Adamcz, MSW, CSW is a music and art therapist. She offers Integrative Breathwork Workshops in Kalamazoo and Grand Rapids. She can be reached at (269)-388-2988 or email: lkadamcz@hotmail.com.